Much-needed Update from India!

I suppose I should begin this update with effusive apologies for not having updated over the past couple of weeks since my arrival in India. The reasons are varied, from the ridiculous cost of the business center from my ridiculously expensive - but phenomenally lovely - hotel in Delhi, to power outages or slow Internet, to simply not taking the time to walk down the hill from where I am staying to get to the closest Internet location. Here I am now, though, and there is really so much to write about that I can't fathom being able to put it all in one post. Because of the passage of time, it will most likely be difficult for me to articulate everything as sincerely as I would have been able had I been constantly updating. Experiences in the markets of Old Delhi are more distant memories now; the sights, smells (oh, the smells...), noise, veritable chaos, all will feel more like fiction as I write them. The brightness of the colors fades each day, the pungent odors dissipate, the sounds are mere whispers, and the chaos seems more orderly. All of this aside, I will begin working backwards from today, and eventually will arrive at October 13, the evening I landed in this land of mystery and spirituality, a place that, for better or worse, will become my home for the next 2 months.

Three Weeks in Rajpur

Rajpur is a sleepy village approximately 30 miles outside of Dehradun, the capital of Uttarakhand state in Northern India. I arrived here on October 18 on an overnight train from Delhi (more on this later). I share a flat (sorry, apartment) with two wonderful ladies, Najat (who speaks English and limited Hindi with a deliciously rolling Quebecoise accent) and Lori, who is from Wisconsin and speaks English like me...American English...which, in a land of Brit and Aussie tourists is quite noticeably ill-refined.

I'm here until November 8 doing an intensive asana and pranayama yoga course in the Iyengar tradition at the Yog-Ganga Centre for Yogic Studies. First let me say that, if you are at all interested in the Iyengar tradition of yoga, this is an amazing course. Rajiv and Swati Chanchani have trained for many years under the renowned B.K.S. Iyengar, as well as with his wife Geeta and son Prashant, both of whom are highly respected and recognized as expert teachers and practitioners. We have group asana class from 8-10am 5 days a week, group pranayama class from 4-6/6:30pm 3 days a week, and 1 afternoon dedicated to a talk on yogic philosophy and tradition. One afternoon a week is free, and the other 2 days are considered vacation days. The yoga hall is open for self-practice from 7:30-8am and 2-4pm on days when we have group practice, and 9:15-10:45am and 2-4:30pm on days when we have "vacation". The Yoga Centre also has library with books to check out and yoga reference books. The grounds are exquisitely serene, full of beautifully colored flowers with the Doon Valley mountains in the distance.

Rajpur itself is a poor village by most standards, but they make do and over the past 5 years have taken good advantage of the tourism opportunities that the Yoga Centre brings with the 30-some-odd students that come for each course. A man and his family opened a business to wash and iron clothes for 4 Indian rupees (10 cents, US) per item; numerous fruit and vegetable stands line the main street through town, which extends for less than half a mile; there is a chemist (pharmacist), and a couple of "general stores" provide bulk foodstuff like gram (lentils), rice, sugar, flower, nuts, and spices, as well as all kinds of packaged goods like biscuits (cookies), indian snacks, toothpaste, shampoo, detergent, henna hair coloring, tea, coffee, diapers, plastic containers...you name it, all in a tiny store that is no bigger than the master bedroom in most houses I have seen. A couple of tea stalls entertain both locals and foreigners alike with deliciously steaming cups of chai and, if you like, a sweet imported snack (the cream horn is not recommended, but if your sweet tooth is aching, it will probably suffice). And the samosas...aaahhh, spicy and hot from a Sikh gentleman's shop on the chowk.

And this is Rajpur. At night it is mainly quiet, save the barking dogs, firecrackers, and what sound like random gunshots (we still have no clue what they are). Being so small and in the Doon Valley, it is surrounded by mountains, has fresh, crisp air, and a view of the stars that can only be dreamed of from the smog-filled courtyards of elite Delhi hotels. As far as a location for a Yoga Centre is concerned, it can't be beat. Warm October days, cool evenings, no rain this time of year...as I was drinking my chai and eating my biscuits to the symphony of Creation waking to greet the sun this morning, I thought...you know, I am a blessed creature witnessing a nothing less than a miracle. And then, with a sigh, I closed my eyes and thought that the only thing that would make it more beautiful would be to share that moment with Jeff. And so I did.

Luckily, I have become good friends with both my roommates. Lori and I will continue on to Rishikesh from here, then to Amritsar for a couple of days, through Delhi and Agra, and then on to Varanasi to stay with my teacher for about a month. It's good to have a travel partner...I feel safer, not so alone, and I know it makes Jeff and my parents feel a bit better.

Preparations for the Journey Ahead

It's Tuesday, and I only began packing this morning. For those of you who aren't as up-to-date on my trip plans, here's a quick review.

I'm leaving on Friday for 3 months in India. Three months. It seems so long now that the departure date is so close. Everyone is asking me if I'm anxious or nervous. Who woudn't be? I'm leaving my husband and friends (and yes, my family) for a country I have longed to visit. Until three weeks ago, I knew no one there. And those people I know now are few and all located in Varanasi. So, am I anxious? A little. It probably won't hit me until my second or third night in Delhi, based on previous experiences.

The people I know who are interested in hearing about this trip generally fall into 2 categories: those who want to know where I'll be going; and those who want to know why. Why are you leaving your life here...your family, your friends...to trampse around a country like India? And when I respond to that question, there are 3 general responses: 1) wow, that's great...amazing...good for you...I'd like to do that someday; 2) um, ok, that sounds reasonable, something that you might like to do; 3) (rhetorically, with a blank stare) what the $!*^ is she talking about?

So, I'll answer the second question first. Then I'll give a brief run-down of my current itinerary (which will most surely change).

Why am I going to India. Until three weeks ago, I had a different answer than I do now. Quite simply, I was hoping to connect with a teacher, to merge with something, anything, that could help guide me along this process of connecting with my own Divinity. For those of you with whom I have these discussions often, you'll understand (and have probably already heard) this part; for the rest of you, I'm sorry...bear with me :).

I have been practicing yoga for about 12 years now, in earnest and with a spiritual focus for about 8 of them. As I have moved along this path that has become my own, I have been blessed with an understanding of some truly beautiful concepts and ways of looking at life, creation, and God that are so inspiring, they make my soul cry out for devotion and tears of awe flow from me. Now, it's no longer yoga...it's just who I am. It's my perspective, my way of existence, which is often challenged, weakened, and then reinforced, only to be struck again by the reality of maya and my ego's desire to remain attached to it. Because, no matter how peaceful that inner stillness and nothingness is...it can be downright frightening getting there. I found myself easily intellectualizing these concepts and ways of being, oftentimes really feeling connected to them, but then, when my ego needed to face some of its deepest fears, I would fall. I couldn't stand up to them. The samskaras were so entrenched that, no matter what I did, I couldn't hold them with enough compassion and understanding to clear them completely. I needed a teacher, a guru, someone who could serve as a representation of that Divinity that is at my essence...at the core of all existence...to help guide me. After multiple therapy sessions, hours of meditation, countless yoga classes, and who knows how many balasanas (it's a yoga posture) in tears, I was able to finally say, "You know...I may actually need some help with this one. And that's OK.

So how did this response change? I no longer am looking for a home, a tradition and teacher that will provide me with unconditional support along this journey. That part's been taken care of, thanks to the grace of God and Guru. Now the work is going to begin. So, this trip to India will be just that. A beautiful experience along this devotional path. I am working not to have high expectations of vast degrees of transformation while I am there. The most profound transformation will likely pass later, when I am surrounded by the kula and the sanghat, in the spiritual presence of my family, friends, and colleagues, all of those who have been, and continue to be, integral pieces of this profound life journey.

And yes, I will resume career-related work upon my return from this short sabbatical, because the career path I have chosen is intimately connected with the rest of my path...it's my karma yoga :).

Now a quick response to question 2, only because it doesn't warrant such an esoteric response :). So the places I will be visiting? That's bound to change, but for now I'm focusing on Northern India, including Delhi, Agra, Amritsar, Dharamsala, possibly Ladakh, Rishikesh, various cities in Rajasthan, and Varanasi. I'll keep you updated with this blog; that's what it's for :).

In peace, love, and Divine light,
Kristin